Dear Thomas, James, and Margot,
I want to share something with you that I didn’t come to understand until I was well into adulthood—something I wish I had known earlier. It would have helped me love better, lead better, and feel more whole in myself. It’s this: inside each of us lives both masculine and feminine energy. It’s not about gender or the roles we play. It’s deeper than that. It’s about the forces that live in all of us, the ones that shape how we act, how we feel, and how we move through the world.
The masculine energy in you is strong and focused. It drives you to take action, to build, to protect, to stand tall when things get hard. It's the part of you that wants to lead, to take responsibility, to move forward no matter the cost.
The feminine energy is just as powerful. It's soft, but never weak. It’s intuitive, creative, deeply empathetic. It’s the part of you that listens closely, that feels things fully, that nurtures others and sees beauty in the quiet. It’s the patience to understand and the instinct to heal.
Some people go their whole lives only trusting one side. They think they have to always be tough, always be in control, always be the one with answers. Or they feel the world wants them to be gentle and agreeable at the cost of their voice and boundaries. But the truth is, both energies live inside you for a reason. And the fullest version of who you are—the one that makes the biggest difference in the world—is found in the balance between the two.
There will be moments in life when you need to be bold, to stand firm, to push through fear. And there will be moments when what’s needed is stillness, empathy, and grace. Strength is knowing when to be each.
When I was younger, I thought I had to be hard all the time. I leaned heavily on the masculine energy—discipline, control, logic. And it served me, in many ways. It helped me build, lead, endure. But I didn’t always make room for the other side. I didn’t always let myself feel fully, or love openly, or rest when I needed to. And in some seasons, that left me feeling hollow, disconnected from others and from parts of myself.
As I got older—especially after becoming your dad—I began to understand the power of both energies living in harmony. Being strong for you wasn’t just about protecting you. It was about being emotionally available. It was about holding you when you cried and letting you see me cry too. It was about making space for your dreams, not just giving advice, but listening to what your hearts were saying. That came from the feminine side of me, the one I had to learn to trust again.
And I want that for each of you. I want you to walk into every room as your whole self. Let your strength be real and your heart be open. Let your logic guide you and your intuition speak. Lead boldly and love deeply. Build big things and tend to small, quiet moments. Say what needs to be said, and listen when someone else speaks their truth.
You are allowed to be fierce and soft. You are allowed to protect and to surrender. You are allowed to be decisive and to feel deeply. None of these things cancel each other out. In fact, when they come together, they make you more powerful than you can imagine.
The world needs more whole people. People who can carry both fire and water. People who can be strong enough to stand alone and kind enough to walk with others. People who understand that embracing all of who they are isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom.
So don’t let the world put you in a box. Don’t buy into the lie that you have to choose between strength and softness. You were made for both. And I promise, the more you learn to live in that balance, the more alive and connected you’ll feel—not just to yourself, but to everyone around you.
With all my love and everything I’ve got,
Dad
If today’s message helped you think differently about the way you show up in the world—if it reminded you that you don’t have to choose between being fierce and being kind—send it to someone else who’s walking that same line.
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Until next time—stand tall, stay soft, and remember: your wholeness is your strength.
You were made for both.
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